Real Mail & Parasites Times

Since my last Chronicles of Yolandia Update and post on cleanses, I received a number of emails and comments on blogs that seem to echo similar sentiments. I thought I’d answer some today.


“I had a really extreme parasite infection. It was hell,” Yolanda said. “They were, like, two feet long. It was awful.”

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I hope she was being facetious and hyperbolic (at the reunion, make bets now she says she was exaggerating playfully #proudfunnymommy.) However, with everything else she claims, it sounds like she earnestly  is telling Eileen and Rinna that she had a literal 24 inch parasite.

The large intestine is about 5 feet long (it is only called the large one because it is actually wider in diameter) while the small intestine is small and narrow more like 23 feet long if it were pulled and stretched out.

A parasite that comes to mind that does end up being 2-3 feet long is Guinea worm, but that affects very poor countries with substandard living conditions. I doubt that is what Yolanda has. She has traveled to Singapore, Germany, Tijuana and abroad to god knows where else, so getting a parasite is very possible due to increased global travel. Was it 2 feet long though? Maybe.

Except she never really said what the parasites were…just that she had a parasitic infection. Parasitic infections are a fad diagnosis that usually couple with toxins, but parasites do exist. Hookworm, tapeworm, pin worms etc. are a few you may have heard urban legends about.

Parasites usually come from either under cooked food or unsanitary conditions.  To treat a parasite, you certainly wouldn’t get a colonic or any pseudoscience treatment, but you wold go to a medical doctor and be prescribed an anthelmintics, a class of drugs that treat parasites and causes few side effects to the host.

Again, she could have had a parasite, but she doesn’t offer any other details than it was two foot long, set to sad music and slack-jaws.

Has Andy Cohen seen your blog???

Not that I know of. It has been mentioned on Heather McDonald’s podcast this past week with guest Christy Stratton. Heather talks with Kate Casey (check out her awesome site here: Love and Knuckles) about my blog: listen to the show here. 

That was the highlight of my week! I’d love to be some couch evidence at the reunion (YOU KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!) 😉

“Are you a Real Housewives fan?”

I’ve been watching since the original season of Orange County, when it was more like a documentary about  wealthy, out of touch and overly tanned humans behind the gates. Sometimes your brain needs to be allowed to check out. It is my check out show, but doesn’t mean I can’t criticize it.

“Please tell us more about Alison DuBois!”

I want go in deep with all the psychics on Real Housewives- there is quite a list after this past year!

“Are you going to give Shannon the Yolanda treatment?”


“Favorite Real Housewives city?



It’s coming. I still can’t believe I see that stuff in stores.

“Do you watch other reality TV or Bravo-only?”

I watch A LOT of it. Flavor of Love was my original foray into this crazy world of reality TV that wasn’t competitive (like Survivor.) I watch The Bachelor/ette/Island, MTV challenges, insane TLC dramas like Toddlers and Tiaras, and my favorite is probably Dance Moms because I have subbed in classes for those girls when they were just starting the show, a lot of the show would take place in my hometown, though now it has moved to LA it seems.

“Do you have twitter ?”

You can tweet me @AM_Pines. I tweet about politics, tv, whatever is trending, etc. You can also me at

I love hearing from everyone and reading your comments. Thanks for reading, discussing, and sharing!




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